Self-Changing Lessons that Uni will Never Teach.

After graduating high school, it may be surprising that Uni isn't everyone's next or immediate option, and more surprisingly, it could even be the best decision they've ever made.

Regardless of our reasons, we all share one common problem: Being looked upon in pity based on the perception that we are not taking the essential route to our future. We are pictured as someone getting left behind the current of life. It's so trapping, we often believe in it.

In the beginning, I felt lost, defeated, and the lowest of the low. Being almost three years of not taking any formal education, spending a great amount of time at home, with my previous academic phase as a home-schooler made me question my position. Where the hell am I going with all of this? After a year passed, I asked myself again, this time, less in shame and more in contemplation.

Sometimes, we've got to get out of the flow for a while to take a better view of where we are heading.

Living outside of a school life enables me to clearly open my sight of the real world. 

Just like any other young-adults, my goals in life are about making a change in this world by doing what I do best. The problem is, it's not solely about me and my goals. Society has planted a belief in our minds that in order for our efforts to be valid, fulfilling our goals has to be done by following its norms. Out of a thousand possibilities, the "go to uni—earn a degree—get a job" norm is the only valid route, so if we don't follow this exact route, we are automatically failures. 

I'm not saying you shouldn't go to uni, earn a degree and get a job. I'm saying that you hold the definition of your own success, not society. A successful future is a future that's built upon your vision in life. School and work should be seen merely as a 'tool' to help cultivate them. The biggest mistake most people are making these days is that they bend, break and shrink their vision in life in order for them to fit these 'tools', out of the narrowed definition of success. 

It's time to shift our focus. 

On 'deciding a major', what you want to be is about what meets your interests and potentials, not what other people expects of you or what is "safe" and "promising" based on what kind of profession society appreciates more.

On 'learning', it's never enough to just know the theories, in fact, intellectual knowledge itself is never enough, for you need a good balance of emotional knowledge too, and spiritual knowledge to cultivate both excellently. Also mind other forms of knowledge that are necessary on our daily lives, such as personal, social, moral, health, literary, financial, etc. Learning is about transforming ourselves.

On 'getting good grades', remember that small and personal victories are worth to grade too. You got up an hour earlier in the morning, you've given yourself more time to be productive. You resist on eating junk food, your body works better now. You forgive that person, you've healed yourself and someone else. Give yourself an A+ for these, because it takes you just as further, or honesty, way further than your completed essay.

On 'taking extra classes', become your own teacher. Browse the internet, haul up books, explore other fascinating knowledges. Challenge yourself upon new skills. It couldn't get any more accessible in this digital era. Also, just like when you enter different classes in the real world, you get to stumble along new people online.

On 'having an excellent character', even though our culture overvalues the quality of extroverts, introversion is just as important. In the constant encouragement to be loud, outgoing, communicative, a fast-thinker, and just externally active, balance them out with contemplation, observation, independency, efficient-thinking, and the power of silence and passiveness. 

On 'striving for a career', knowledge, experience and links are all you need. A diploma won't mean anything without these three. This also means you can acquire these aspects outside of uni, such as apprenticeship, independent learning/self-teaching, taking courses, private learning, having an acquaintance that can help you get inside the field you want, etc which is good news to everyone. 

On 'finding a job that pays well', let me tell you that richness is made, not given. Having lots of money may generally label you as 'wealthy', but wealth isn't about what you get, it's about what you make out of what you have. It takes a simple and profound formula: make smart choices on what to invest on and look at the value of things, which is dependent to each person's lifestyle (needs and taste).

On 'being successful in a job', since a career also means a role you play in society and its needs, the constant demands people throw at you will be super exhausting at times. Despite that, it has always been solely about you doing your absolute best. If you've put out a maximum effort in terms of providing service to someone, you're already accomplishing what needs to be done.

I am pitied for taking gap years because it is considered as an act of robbing my youth away "in vain". What they don't see is that it is actually a gift of my youth to not just look at the larger picture of life, but to dig deeper into my interests, to constantly find other ways to expand my potentials or put my potentials into practice (taking courses, self-teaching, online learning, selling), and while doing all that, I get it to maintain other important aspects in my life such as spirituality, health, finance and relationships because my successful future will be built upon all these aspects as a whole, not solely my academic aspect, and myself as a person, not solely as an undergrad. Now, I am on my way on becoming a writer, a blogger, an entepreuner, a visual artist, a polyglot, a socially outspoken introvert, and a boundless dreamer. 

Do I plan on entering uni though? In fact, I've finally decided on what I want to focus on and I've chosen business in hopes to take my little online shop to the next level, but be it uni or not, I'm relieved to say I'm now flexible to take any form of academic path, as long as I'm getting an abundant of knowledge, experience, and links, just like I mentioned earlier.

I've created this post for those who are going through a gap year just like me and gradually convinced they're wasting their time, those who doesn't feel like entering uni yet but afraid of the decision, and also to uni students who are wearily sucked into a world obsessed with good grades and academic achievement. Know that there is so much more you can do to achieve your goals. Never let anyone or anything stop you from dreaming big.